Warning/Disclaimer: I may be about to say some things that would be considered sexist! But since online groomers such as this are trying to make children believe (and society pretend that) there is “no such thing as a boy and a girl,” and, according to his expertise, “biological sex is fake AND gender roles are FAKE!” (So if it is essentially all “fake,” I should just say whatever I want to, too!)
__________
It’s a Friday night and I’ve had a long day. Started with a business phone call at 9 am, and then, I worked outside with two friends (a man and a woman) on something in my gardens that truly needed taming. It was quite hot, and I went through the Gatorade, and they came wearing sun-protecting hats! (The woman friend was pregnant, the man was not!)
Then, after lunch, another helper came (a young man) and we worked more on this same area for another two hours. And then, I drove to a monthly community outreach event at church, and set up to do some face painting and caricatures.
Then, I thought I’d drive on down to the Home Depot to see if I could get some 1 x 2’s (or “1-by’s? ha ha I’ve used the term here, maybe not correctly…I Googled and stumbled on this–not sure what they are saying but really cute!) for this garden-taming project/area. As usual, I made a beeline to the back of the lumber department to see what heavenly-sent-lucky-Providence might have for 70% off, before going to the non-warped, non-split, non-damaged lumber aisle!
And often, I do get lucky. There were a number of fence slats a lot wider and sturdier than my intended, cheap 1-by’s…and those actually cost less after the discount. I picked through the pile, getting what I thought needed. Doing a project right, especially if it will reduce the maintenance going forward, is usually a good thing. I’m always looking for increased manageability of things here.
So then, I decided I would get just 6 of the smaller 1-by’s that were first runs. But as often the case, the ones immediately reachable had been picked through. I actually still considered getting them, even though I noticed they were warped when I lay them on the cart. After all, they don’t need to be perfect for tomato ties and such.
But, something in me felt a little demanding tonight! I was wearing a summer, cotton dress, and I suppose I was feeling like I was up for being a high-maintenance woman shopper in the Home Depot tonight! I noticed bundles of the straight ones, high and to the back. And I glanced at the wood pile below, and for a moment, envisioned climbing up, holding the shelf, and trying to sort and find 6 perfect ones.
I was tired.
And being that I was tired at 9:30 pm, and, wearing a DRESS, I looked around me at the empty ghost-town that Home Depot (and Lowe’s, too) has seemed to become ever since 2020, and I thought to myself, “I’m gonna find me a man to get those!”
I knew what I was likely up against.
I left my cart, walked up to the cashier area. I actually know by face some of the more regular, younger Home Depot people, more or less! I usually go through the register with the paid person ringing me, and usually, it seems to a woman. There are several women cashiers I have recognized often working that register, one older one in particular. She was the one who felt compelled to tell me she was supposed to have asked for my ID since I bought spray paint. It was actually Easter Sunday, and I had stopped in and bought a bunch of cans of colors for something fun I planned to do that afternoon, alone here. And of course, I was wearing my Easter dress.
Why a 70 year old woman thought I might be a huffer, and not just some artist on the way home from church in an Easter dress, who wanted to buy about 6 cans of bright spray paint and a few other items, I am not sure. I suppose it has to do with protocol! (And this reminds me of the time I encountered another older woman at that register and got into an interesting conversation! TODAY I TOLD A CASHIER HOW SHE COULD MAKE RAINBOW-COLORED UNICORN POOP )
Then, often there is the young man who guards the registers where we customers become (very) temp Home Depot checker-outers! You know, where we scan our own stuff like employees used to do 30 years ago, while an employee stands and watches everyone!
Since no one was there checking out, I was thinking something really dumb. I was thinking maybe that young 20-some could walk 50 feet down the lumber aisle and I’d point two feet over my head and say, “Could you get me 6 straight ones down, please?”
I realized later how dumb of an idea that was, because that would violate protocol. I’m guessing if he left that area for two minutes and asked the female cashier to keep an eye out, he might get in trouble. He told me he would page someone, and I saw him use his phone.
I walked back and knew from experience what would happen. I stood there about 10 minutes looking at Facebook, feeling tired and glancing around. Then I thought, “I betcha I could briskly walk two aisles down and grab some 1.75 inch star-bit construction screws and be back before anyone comes!“
On my way back I looked at the register guy, and there was an older gentleman hanging out, clearly a customer. Probably waiting for his wife to finish shopping in the Home Decorating aisle, or to finish buying a cartload of rose bushes!
Sometimes people who know me have insinuated I’m too demanding! Maybe it’s true. I remember once, twenty years ago, saying that I didn’t feel I was getting enough chivalry!
__________
It’s a Friday night, and maybe I was just bored. I don’t really watch movies much these days, but I can find ways to humor and entertain myself sometimes. I suppose I felt like I wanted to be a troublemaker of sorts!
I told the bearded 20-some-guy that I still needed help getting some “1-by’s.” (Yeah, I’ve learned to talk the talk!) I ask if HE could get them, but he said he would page again. I persisted, saying that “I only needed six and I just didn’t think I should climb up there, since I am wearing a dress.” (I’m giggling as I type and remember this! It felt funny to me. Way to cause a fun little humorous commotion! I bet that kid went out after work with friends and said something like, “Yeah…tonight this lady insisted on help in the lumber department because she was wearing a dress! Weirdest. Thing. Ever.”)
I turned to the older man standing around (you know, often customers will help me….like in Walmart when I can’t reach all the cat litter and it’s way back on the high rack…I don’t glance around for a woman…I look for a man…they tend to want to help. It must be biological. (Zaaappp!!! went the Orwellian keyboard!)
I met eyes with the older guy and said it again! “Don’t you think I shouldn’t have to climb up there in a dress?” He kind of smiled, nodded, and seemed to then be moseying out of the area, but I could tell he clearly agreed! He was probably afraid I would make a scene, ha ha… (I hope readers know I’m tongue-in-cheek…I wasn’t really making a scene, but I surely was attempting to assert a point…first…they need more help…second…them young’uns need to learn some chivalry!)
This was getting fun!
I actually enjoy going into the Home Depot wearing a dress, whenever possible. It’s fun to find a man to explain to me which chainsaw I might want to buy, while I’m wearing a dress. I think it is some type of post-divorce neurosis or something; I might do a lot of heavy things here on my own, but when I go out in public, I want an amount of recognition of my biological sex and gender!
(Now, women employees do surprise me in locating small products–specific hardware, nuts and bolts and such, at times–it must be the biological-gatherer-stocker effect!
One time, I needed help in the electrical department. I saw a man walking around and asked if he was in the department. I was looking for an outdoor floodlight and had questions. He offered to help, even though it wasn’t his department. When the guy in the department showed up, I sensed some undercurrent between them. The second guy started correcting and overbearing the first guy, who had been helpful to that point. I sensed the second guy was annoyed at the first guy for some reason, when he was simply being helpful when the other guy hadn’t been in the area.
I do think I was standing there possibly in a dress, again. Something felt territorial between the two men clerks! I mean, they were both kind of old guys. I just wanted the right spotlight and to make sure I got any needed accessories, and a few things on a list!
One time back in 2020, I paid for concrete and some heavy stuff at Lowe’s and went out front for a loader. They eventually sent a frail-looking elderly man out, I’m guessing he was about 75. In that case, I wasn’t going to allow him to do all that, and I began working alongside him. I remember chatting with him. It felt wrong to me; I was in better shape than he was. I didn’t understand why they put this man out as a loader of such heavy stuff, rather than an easier job inside.
Sometimes chivalry can be considered from other vantage points.
Same with the time I got a bunch of 40-pound bags of topsoil. I was again at the Home Depot, last year, paying first in the garden center. I drove out and waited, and when no one came to load it I went back inside saying, “Is there a young man you can send out to load me?” I had seen young male employees in that area. The older female cashier said she would send someone.
I went back out, and this “little girl” came out! I took one look at her very small, petite, thin frame (actually accurately guessing her age…18) and showed her my receipt. It was hot. Together we loaded it all. She told me that they had just had a huge sale on mulch and she had loaded for many hours the previous weekend. I chatted with her; she was about to graduate high school. As we were almost done, a stronger young man came out and helped finish the last bags.
__________
I hope I’ve written this in a somewhat fun way! But, I have some more serious observations and comments.
First, I actually enjoy doing indoor/outdoor projects that are typically not done (to the degree I do them) by many women my age, and running power tools. There are some tools I am afraid to use and will ask a man (circular saws…I won’t use those…I’ll cut a 2 x 4 with a jigsaw, if needed, however!) And, when I realized I should buy a battery chainsaw to keep some areas managed, I got a low-priced, basic chainsaw earlier this year.
However, I waited weeks before using it…I wanted a man to show and explain it to me initially, and didn’t feel comfortable trying it alone. Eventually, some friends from church were here offering me help, and I got a quick tutorial! It really wasn’t that difficult or scary, with common sense, and I’ve used it when alone.
There are a lot of fundamental things changing in our society. Of course, old-fashioned forms of chivalry and other biological sex/gender roles have been gradually evolving for many years–some in good and understandable, beneficial ways, and others in detrimental ways. But with the introduction of more recent gender ideology, coupled with the recent effects of economy/pandemic fallout/store worker shortages, coupled with senior citizens working jobs that were traditionally for youths, and youths not working nearly as hard as seniors…it can feel at increasing risk for continued societal ills.
What society accepts, families accept, and marriages and individuals accept. Laws and expectations get changed. Many things get blurred.
What I want to know is, who holds the door for Dylan Mulvaney? When this biological man walks into a gala event in high heels and a gown, do real men feel compelled to hold the door for him, or, does a woman?
I believe traditional protocols dictate that women hold doors for women, or for an elderly man.
Think about it...I’m not sure there is any good answer.
- If a woman holds the door for him, because he is to be considered a “woman,” I see that as a problem.
- If a man holds the door for him, because he is to be considered a “woman,” I see that as a problem.
- And if the answer is, “Dylan Mulvaney holds the door for Dylan Mulvaney because ‘chivalry is to die even more,‘ then I see that as a problem.
I probably shouldn’t say this, yet I will! If the man below (Dylan Mulvaney) had been wearing a dress at the Home Depot tonight, telling a man employee he didn’t want to climb up and get himself six “1-by’s,” I wonder how long he would have waited for help?
I mean, I was only wearing an everyday cotton, casual, somewhat frumpy dress, with sandals.
Maybe I could have got more service wearing THAT.
Not that I would wear something like that…it appears too uncomfortable to run a chainsaw in, and possibly, dangerous…
Thank You For Reading
Please Feel Free To Express Your Thoughts Below
