Hand-Written Invitations (to LIFE, or to Sin, Immorality and Death?)

“What is the end of all of this ‘STUFF’?” — I ask myself.

It seems almost every morning of every day as I awake (in the traditional sense of becoming aWOKEned with my coffee and such)–when I briefly browse Facebook–I see memes and statements that seem to be inviting others to “something” that are being written in a new Christianese.

Welcome to the “brave, new world” that is slowly infiltrating the Church of which Jesus-followers must now navigate.

But first, a story of the most memorable calligraphy project I ever took in.

There’s got to be some type of moral to this tale.

It starts with my young family needing a new dishwasher somewhere around the year 2000. And then, I get a phone call from a man who lives in New York City asking me to create hand-written invitations to his wedding. He tells me he needs them by the end of the week because he’s on a deadline at this point, and there will be about sixty to be sent. I initially assume he wants me to hand-design the invitation in calligraphy and then reproduce them on my printer.

As we speak, I learn that he wants each one hand-done. And there will be a small response card for each guest that he wants hand-done. And, he wants me to address the guest envelope by hand, as well as the small envelope that will be returned to him with the guest’s response.

Additionally, this must be on the finest stationary–Crane Co. pure cotton paper, to be precise.

I was familiar with Crane products and found that I could purchase the appropriate stock at a store in Greenville, Delaware (home to now President Biden, for those who like the trivia of the wealthiest area in Delaware). Back in the year 2000, he was our Senator.

The NYC man was talking to me on a cell phone with a lot of background noise. He sounded impatient, as I tried to determine what he wanted, how to provide it, and give him a cost. He apologized for the bad connection and mentioned he was walking down Wall Street in New York City.

I’m not even sure if I yet owned a cell phone at that time. But, I did know that we needed a new dishwasher and the approximate cost of that, plus paying a friend to install it.

I came up with a price based on doing sixty of these entirely by hand, on the finest stationary in the wedding industry, and, additionally, because of the tight deadline and how long this would take me, he would pay me to also stuff-and-stamp them and mail them out for him by the end of the week.

I was worried about the cost of it all (what this man might be willing to pay for this highly unusual project) and as usual, I didn’t want to lose needed work. He was absolutely fine with my pricing and mentioned he found me online because he knew the calligraphers in New York City charged four times as much as me. He told me he’d send me the guest list in my requested format by a certain time.

While I can’t recall with certainty, I could almost wage a bet that the guest list was emailed to me last minute in some other confusing format that would take more time to work from and decipher. Actually, I vaguely recall he sent a spreadsheet, which I had to extract/re-format the information from each column into an easy to follow format where I wouldn’t have to hunt for the relevant “data” with each glance from the calligraphy to the list.

Plus, the guest list turned out to be close to one hundred invitees. I do recall telling him that the per piece costs and he agreed that the project would cost more, since the estimated list was nearly double. But, I still had the same deadline imposed.

(There’s a saying that I’ve never dared to use on occasional clients in my business even when I technically should have and admit having angrily ruminated on it in my brain. It goes like this: Your poor planning is not a reason for my emergency.)

As a homeschooling mom and wife, trying to also earn money from home (often drinking coffee slurpees at the end of a Little League Game on one of the week nights I planned to stay up and work into the late night hours while my first husband took over the evening routine), I was excited and thankful for the big dollar signs that were wafting through my mind.

It would total about 8,000 words by the time it was all said and done–all nicely hand-calligraphied–and would not only pay for the dishwasher but a few other bills and needs.

How difficult could this be? I would set up the master templates of each and then use them as a centering/line guides on my large glass-topped light table–tracing and writing over each one.

As I started to dive into this swamp of a project, I soon learned that my concentration was not perfect, and sometimes I would make a mistake 95% through and have to dispose of and restart a piece. While this is to be expected on the addressing of guest information, I was surprised that it happened even while essentially tracing over the main invitation’s words which were identical.

And, the black calligraphy ink that flowed out of a nib that required repeated filling with an eyedropper (and testing after each fill until I had precise flow quality) took quite awhile to dry enough for me to safely stack the invitations together or even think of stuffing them into envelopes.

Pretty soon, I was laying all these pieces on every possible surface in my home office and adjoining rooms to allow them to dry. And I was finding that my right wrist was becoming quite cramped to the point of pain. I remember how my light table would throw off heat after being on so long, and I remember resting my wrist on the surface heat every so often, before resuming this massive feat of a project.

The man kept contacting me, wondering when it would all be finished and whether I’d meet his deadline. I think it was at that point I said I could mail out the stamped/stuffed invitations from Delaware rather than sending them to New York for him to mail there. I was getting down to the wire, and eventually told him that the New Castle County post office stayed open until 2 am as it was the main hub.

On the final night before his deadline, I contacted a close friend from church (and fellow homeschooling mom) who at that time did my clerical/accounting work monthly, and asked if I could pay her to come help me stuff and stamp (and use a hair dryer) on the pieces that night. She said she’d be over after the kids were in bed, and I think she showed up around 10 pm to our house.

Sara and I worked together on finishing up this massive project with quick turn around time into the late hours and she probably left around 1 am. I kept doing calligraphy on the pieces and she kept taking them into another room and using the hair dryer or waving them in the air and blowing on them (I may have joined at some point and there was only one hair dryer), testing them to make sure the ink was thoroughly dry and would not smear, counting the pieces, stuffing envelopes, stamping them…and coming in-and-out of my office to update me with how many more I needed to finish up.

We were both exhausted and overwhelmed–my wrist was hurting and I was panicking that I would not get them in by the customer’s final stated deadline. I’m a people-pleaser and I would not have thought of requesting one more day, after I gave my word and repeatedly assured the man of my ability to deliver. I would give myself over to this if it half-killed me, and I was so grateful that my friend was available to help and keep it all straight.

I recall driving to the New Castle main post office with pit in my stomach–what if they really weren’t open until the hour that it said on the (fairly new to me) internet. The only reason I knew of their hours was that at some point someone told me that is where people take their tax returns if running close to midnight deadline. Perhaps Sara even told me that this post office would be open. I think the customer wanted them all hand-stamped at the counter (as in processed with evidence they had been sent and to avoid them running through a machine).

Most likely, knowing myself, I was straining hard to stay awake at the wheel–probably licking my fingers and rubbing my eyes for moisture as I have done when forced to drive late into the night when exhausted. Somewhere in this big world–actually about a half hour from where I was heading–my two sons and husband were likely deep in sleep. And surely the next “homeschool” day did not start bright and early…

This morning, I saw a meme on Facebook which gave me pause. These days, it feels like minefields to navigate and discern what another Christian is aiming to communicate or invite us to. There is so much play-space between the reshuffled words, concepts and scripture references, sometimes leaving us a bit unclear what is being said. Pretty much anyone who shares some type of inspirational or Christian-related meme on social media can be assumed to be wanting to communicate and promote something they see as significant–or to be advocated for.

While I could copy/paste the actual meme with its attention-grabbing image and perfect layout, I think I will simply put the words themselves here.

And my question is, to what purpose is this statement being made, and to what are we being invited to in the Church these days (both in specific “church” invitations and in the broader sense, to the Church universal? And are these invitations one and the same? And is this invitation of the same historic quality based in the overriding invitation of scripture and Jesus, our Bridegroom? Or, is this some new invitation? Some bait-and-switch “gospel?”

The meme said:
“Defining ‘sin’ as ‘missing the mark’ still misses the mark if we misdefine ‘the mark’ as moral perfection rather than loving God wholeheartedly and loving our neighbour as ourselves.”

What about this meme would make me or anyone else give it another thought? Why wouldn’t I simply attach a “like” or “love” or “care” to this statement as some signal of my virtuous agreement? Of course, the greatest commandment was summarized by King Jesus as such. Isn’t that the end of the matter and isn’t it self-evident what loving God wholeheartedly and loving our neighbour as ourselves means (or “looks like”)?

(I note the KJV spelling of the word “neighbor” in this potentially new-fangled meme. )

Back to my “8,000 Word Dishwasher Story.”

As I write this, my musings wander to where that dishwasher now resides on this planet? Most likely, the people who bought that house in 2004 have replaced it–maybe more than once. (I think the same owners still live there in that home which I recall with the bittersweet melancholy of ghost-like images of Christmas mornings and family movie nights, of baking cookies with my sons and working together in our gardens, of giving haircuts outside and preparing for homeschool art shows, of snuggling on the sofa on a winter’s day listening to my younger son read aloud to me from wholesome story books, to the behind-closed-doors arguments surely my sons did hear the under-and-overtones of, to the events that increasingly led to the breakdown of that marriage and end of our family as we knew it….where on this planet is THAT DISHWASHER that regularly cleansed the kitchenware we all ate from in those days…?)

I’ve always gravitated toward emphasis on God’s love and acceptance of us through Jesus, the propitiation for our broken, sinful, universal individual and collective condition. And with that, the summarizing statement by Jesus that the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our heart and love our neighbor as ourselves.

Twenty years ago or forty or one hundred years ago, perhaps, the embedded and implied concepts encompassed in that specific text would not be as muddy as they are today. I could probably give a lot of examples from the moral norms and required affirmations of today’s world with all their accompanying griefs, pangs of pain and wrongs toward our Creator and our neighbor that our grandparents would not have considered a display of love toward God nor man in any way, shape or form.

But, I’ll leave the readers to contemplate and form their own images–space for the Holy Spirit to remind us of that which is good, right and holy in this world as it contrasts to ways that seem right to a person but in the end (both in the earthly, temporal realm and the eternal realm) brings all manner of death and destruction.

Let’s imagine for a moment that the bridegroom from around the year 2000 that asked me to go to such great lengths to create and produce such beautiful, personal invitations to his wedding held an event as follows. And keep in mind, in terms of wedding invitations, the quality of the invitation is a subtle signal to guests about a number of things expected of them.

When I was married in 1985, I did my invitation in an unrefined “calligraphy” (my own centered, neat and flowery writing) and photocopied it to mail to guests. I was married in a Barn, in a simple wedding dress on clearance at a bridal shop for $85. On my invitation, I stated we would have a “reception tea” to follow, as church ladies told me that this is what their food-gift preparations for us should be named. So people did not expect a sit-down meal, but light refreshments–little mini sandwiches and various “finger foods” and some punch.

When a guest receives a hand-written (and the discerning eye can distinguish such calligraphy from reproductions and “standard invites”) invitation, including a response ensemble (that is what the entire set of invitation is named in the wedding industry) that is written on pure cotton fine and heavy paper/cardstock that has been hand-stamped at the postal counter–an invited guest that knows anything about wedding etiquette should understand the inherent nature of this event.

They should not just wonder but know that this is a black-tie affair, to begin with. And in the wedding industry, the type of invitation sent generally dictates the expected gift that attendees should bring. (I made this statement before going online thinking surely I could substantiate it…but…apparently these days, the guidelines have changed in this, too, although I would venture there are still unspoken rules and norms surrounding various weddings in terms of attire, gift-gifting and otherwise).

“Budgeting for a wedding and wedding gift can be difficult since there isn’t one go-to price that works for everyone. The amount you spend on a wedding gift depends on a variety of factors, namely your financial status. “The magic number for how much you should spend on a wedding gift depends on what fits your budget,” says Lizzie Post, Co-President of The Emily Post Institute. “You should give a gift that’s worth what you can afford to give comfortably.” … Hopefully, hearing this advice will offer you a bit of relief. Along those same lines, you should also note that many traditional gifting rules are no longer relevant. “The amount of your gift does not have to cover your ‘head’ or ‘plate,‘ which is a common misconception,” Post explains. “Guests shouldn’t even know how much their seat costs at a wedding. Your gift amount also does not have to be influenced by what the couple may have given you as a wedding gift either.” And lastly, the formality of the event shouldn’t impact how much to give for a wedding gift. “Just because you get invited to a formal event doesn’t mean you can suddenly afford a gift at a higher price range,” Post adds. “It always goes back to what you can comfortably afford.” (From Exactly How Much Money to Spend on a Wedding Gift According To Experts)

Back to my imaginary wedding this New York City bridegroom was inviting people to in 2000….after paying premium dollar for invitations and highest protocol, inviting friends, family and colleagues to a fine-sounding event, the guests show up in their finest attire bearing gifts equivalent in cost/financial sacrifice to the gold, frankincense and myrrh brought to the manger of Jesus or, perhaps, the broken alabaster of perfume and tears shed upon the Master’s feet.

The guests have come expecting to be part of a lifelong and beautiful holy union between a man and a woman, and they are hungry.

They enter the wedding banquet hall and at once are confused. Attendants of all sorts are wearing dirty–even skimpy–jeans and old, torn clothing. There are old, rickety tables set up (undraped with the expected fine linen) with popcorn, awful looking foods and desserts (OH THE NICE LOOKING DESSERTS) and cheap booze. There are paper plates and cups with gaudy patterns on them, a few napkins and disposable plastic utensils. There’s a DJ blaring raunchy, lyrically-immoral music on a sound system that crackles, pops and distorts. There’s a stench like vomit in the ladies room and instead of beautiful flowers on the tables there are weeds in used tin cans for decoration. Guests are eating from the offerings and becoming almost immediately nauseous, yet, everyone is mingling and saying how wonderful it all is.

But the worst thing about the scenario is the gift table.

There, in the center of the rat-infested hall with its dim lighting, grime and oddness, is a gift table. And the guests who have come in their best attire, bearing costly gifts, are laying them on this strange altar-like table. And the bridegroom–he is watching it all with great delight–and then, with an open grin bares his fangs and decaying teeth. The stench of his breath forces the guests to stand back as he exhales, and they notice the wolfy hair on his chest with his shirt and pants half-unbuttoned and his general unkempt demeanor.

And where…O where…is the beautiful bride?

While I could attempt to explain the concerns and thoughts I felt and thought as I read the meme this morning, I think that readers have their own ears, eyes and mind and will hear that which they are ready to hear from a few passages of scripture (below) and a traditional hymn that comes to mind. I am not intending to judge with any certainty what the original designer of that meme was intending in purpose, message or agenda, nor the heart/understandings of the person that shared it. I am just saying that these days, I feel a need to scrutinize all such meme-statements with attempt to discern what is really being said.

These days it seems all kinds of invitations are being put out there by churches and Christians of many stripes. The seeker-friendly and world-sin-harm-death-affirming invitation (and church) is a source of internal spiritual conflict for me these days, and for many others who are standing and watching what seems to be happening.

We must ask ourselves–what is it we are inviting others to in the name of our Lord and Master, the Bridegroom–King Jesus? What is it we are setting out at His banquet table, for others to partake of?

Are we inviting them to something of substance, worthy of His matchless beauty and timeless truths? Are we inviting others into a feast that is life-filled, or, are we unknowingly, or worse yet knowingly, inviting them to some smorgasbord-of-a-death-feast?

The Parable of the Wedding Banquet (Matthew 22)

22 Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: ²“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. ³He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.

⁴“Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’

⁵“But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business. ⁶The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. ⁷The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.

⁸“Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. ⁹So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’ ¹⁰So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, the bad as well as the good, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.

¹¹“But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. ¹²He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.

¹³“Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

¹⁴“For many are invited, but few are chosen.”

The Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22)

³⁴Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^[c] ³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[d] ⁴⁰All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Paul and the False Apostles (II Corinthians 11)

I hope you will put up with me in a little foolishness. Yes, please put up with me! ²I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. ³But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. ⁴For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.

⁵I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.”^[a] ⁶I may indeed be untrained as a speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way. ⁷Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God to you free of charge? ⁸I robbed other churches by receiving support from them so as to serve you. ⁹And when I was with you and needed something, I was not a burden to anyone, for the brothers who came from Macedonia supplied what I needed. I have kept myself from being a burden to you in any way, and will continue to do so. ¹⁰As surely as the truth of Christ is in me, nobody in the regions of Achaia will stop this boasting of mine. ¹¹Why? Because I do not love you? God knows I do!

¹²And I will keep on doing what I am doing in order to cut the ground from under those who want an opportunity to be considered equal with us in the things they boast about. ¹³For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. ¹⁴And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. ¹⁵It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

Threefold Hallelujah Over Babylon’s Fall (Revelation 19)

19 After this I heard what sounded like the roar of a great multitude in heaven shouting:

“Hallelujah!
Salvation and glory and power belong to our God,
² for true and just are his judgments.
He has condemned the great prostitute
who corrupted the earth by her adulteries.
He has avenged on her the blood of his servants.”

³And again they shouted:

“Hallelujah!
The smoke from her goes up for ever and ever.”

⁴The twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God, who was seated on the throne. And they cried:

“Amen, Hallelujah!”

⁵Then a voice came from the throne, saying:

“Praise our God,
all you his servants,
you who fear him,
both great and small!”

⁶Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

“Hallelujah!
    For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
⁷Let us rejoice and be glad
    and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
    and his bride has made herself ready.
⁸Fine linen, bright and clean,
    was given her to wear.”

(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)

⁹Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”

¹⁰At this I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, “Don’t do that! I am a fellow servant with you and with your brothers and sisters who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God! For it is the Spirit of prophecy who bears testimony to Jesus.”