How Most Girls Think About Their Breasts

There’s an idea (or myth) that keeps circulating around these days that it is normal for young girls to hate their developing bodies during puberty and in particular, their breasts. I’m going to go out on a limb here and boldly declare that I don’t think that I am Abby Normal, and therefore, I’d like to set the record straight (with mitigating caveats) that it is not normal for young girls to hate their developing bodies and in particular, their developing breasts.

When I was in fifth grade, back around 1973, there was a girl classmate who was visibly more developed than the rest of us girls. Rumors had it that this girl, who already had the distinction of wearing a bra (which we could see through her shirts), was “stuffing” herself.

One day in the cafeteria–and the image of most every bit of this scene is burned into my mind’s eye–I did something quite socially inappropriate (but maybe understandable to a somewhat naive, curious ten-year-old).

I remember the girl’s name, and I remember she had on a bright red, synthetic fabric knit shirt (which may have had a white collar attached to it.) I remember that she was in front of me in the lunch line, and I remember at least one of the other girls that were with me. And I remember that we were just about to enter into the area where we would get our trays and silverware; we were up to the doorway.

What I don’t clearly recall is the conversation going on, nor what prompted my normally shy, proper self to do what I did. I remember poking this girl’s breast somehow (to see if they were real or stuffed paper). Maybe I did it from behind or from the side, and she felt it and turned around…I’m not sure…but I remember saying to her, “I just wanted to see if those were real.”

It’s a bit fuzzy what happened after that, but she was upset and I felt bad and stupid for having done that. I’m pretty sure she responded along the lines of, “Yes, those are real.” Ironically, she had the unfortunate last name of Biggs.

I can honestly say that I don’t recall ever having a sense of fear, shame or especially body dysmorphia over my blooming womanhood (with maybe one exception that was short-lived and startling when it actually happened…as I feared it meant I would never again be able to move around freely do gymnastics or go swimming…I don’t think I was properly prepared in understanding, perhaps, for that bright red day.)

At least among the girls I knew, we looked forward to growing breasts (though I don’t think we verbalized that, per se.) Developing enough to get our first bra was a type of status symbol, and for some who weren’t quite blossomed, there was the “training bra” which I think was like a sports bra in that day, though I don’t quite recall. And then, there were the padded bras that could give one just a slight bit more volume.

In 2023, we are now witnessing a phenomenon where young girls are binding their chests and (some) parents are deeply concerned about their child’s physical safety. For those who don’t know what a chest binder is or its potential to damage bodies and health, read here What Is Chest Binding?.

Some girls did in fact go into the girl’s bathroom at school and take toilet paper to “stuff” their bras, to make them look more developed than they actually were. (I can’t verify this, but logic says if we were wondering who was doing this and I also remember experimenting at home with toilet tissues, I’m going to assume there is basis for my preceding statement.)

For me, I just remember the gradual noticing of subtle puffiness, and the day dreaming about what they might eventually look like and feel like…and…the when and how long…

You see, somewhere between 1973 and today, something has deeply changed in our views about what it means to be a woman (and a man.) To understand the phenomenon of “body dysmorphia,” I think we must explore more deeply the conceptual skeleton that these new and strange conceptual muscles sit upon, and the supporting tendons and ligaments. I hope my readers can grasp this metaphor in their mind’s eye, as they ponder on…

Unfortunately, I don’t think there is any real scientific data/studies that might reveal how and when things morphed in our cultural thinking, resulting in the idea (and the acceptance of it as being somehow normal), that young people should or routinely do experience (and expect to experience and be treated as such) dysmorphic feelings about their developing bodies.

When I try to imagine the reason that my generation had little-to-no dysmorphia over our blossoming breasts, it would seem that it was because we all were anxious to grow up. In my own mind’s eye, though I can’t say that I had a terribly positive relationship with my own mother as woman-to-woman and in regard to wanting breasts like hers, I can say that on some subconscious level I associated having breasts with all other older women in my life.

From neighborhood mothers of my friends (who cared and nurtured me, too) to women school teachers, one of the most visible marks of being a woman was to have breasts. So, somewhere along the sociological line, the beginning of deconstruction of the normal, conceptual “skeleton” of biological sex/gender normality must have to do with the deconstruction of the female care and nurture that has been associated with the cushioning, sustaining (milk) function of the female breast.

Indeed, human beings (created in God’s image) are the highest in the order of mammals. And of course, what distinguishes mammals from snakes, for example, is the ability to nurse their young.

The phenomenon of young girls wanting to mutilate their bodies by cutting off their breasts before they even get to fully experience why God gave them breasts–both for the nurturing of children and for covenantal sexual pleasure–is not normal or natural. And rather than incorporating a myth into the various attempts to understand, care, protect, guide and otherwise save from deep pain and lifelong heartache this plethora of young girls who have somehow come under the influence of deception (emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, politically), I think we need to examine the ideologic, spiritual undergirding of such an idea.

Below I am re-copying images from another piece I wrote AN ARMY OF GIRLS WITH PHANTOM BREASTS, for continued reflection on this topic. A picture says a thousand words. At the end, I am also re-linking other pieces relating to breasts and ideas of de-nurturement.

(Above) Notice the Walmart description utilizes the linguistics “You Deserve To Feel Proud To Be Yourself” while selling an item that is to be used in inherently NOT being proud of being a biological woman.

__________

For further reading:

My featured image in this piece was cropped from the photo below, which I saw in this article from the Huffington Post EXPOSED: The Truth About Top Surgery