I have felt fairly sick since Friday but seem to be turning a corner. All physical illness–like spiritual and psychological illness–seems to exist on a continuum. When something is wrong in our physical bodies, we start to notice symptoms. And then we try to interpret the symptoms–their severity, or find a possible cause. I’ve had four days now wondering why I was feeling great Thursday, working for an extended time outdoors and indoors that involved significant physical work, cumulating with a bonfire of yard debris and, while going to bed that night noticing my throat felt “scratchy” after the fire, not expecting what I would feel the next day.
Friday, I woke up to significant back pain, body aches and definite sore throat. By Saturday I could barely swallow, was laying on the sofa, had taken about five hot baths in 24 hours, and felt generally unwell. By Sunday I was shining a light into my throat, Googling images of what “strep” might look like, and made a phone call to the weekend on-call physician.
I felt bad enough to call (my throat felt like raw meat) but well enough not to drive into the office to be examined. I admit, I can’t recall the last “strep culture” I had but I remember how upsetting the feel of it was as a child. I also, quite honestly, didn’t feel up to driving there. Yet, I forced myself to drive to my son’s to get a bunch of cabinets unloaded out of my van, because I knew if I didn’t do it then, I might have to deal with them all week. I had someone load the items for me here on Thursday night, thinking I’d easily get to his place this past weekend.
This afternoon, I made it out to the building…gave the lambs some hay…and found myself feeling well enough to clip off some of my blackberry canes needing snipped, after walking around outside thinking about all the things I thought I might have kept doing these past days, had not my sudden illness thwarted me.
And all these thoughts about physical illness and how it so changes our outlook and typical functioning, made me think about the spiritual equivalents.
Jesus said that it is not the healthy that need a Physician, but the sick. Jesus “heals all our diseases, and redeems our life from the pit.” (Psalm 103:3-5, Isaiah 53)
What are the symptoms of spiritual illness, disease and unhealth?
When I think about my own recent bout with physical illness, I think about how it disrupts us from doing/accomplishing/functioning in our physical realm. We let the dishes go, we give ourselves permission to lay on the sofa during daytime, we lose our appetite and nibble on crackers and sip tea or only eat chicken soup and odds-n-ends. I had cooked some venison and mashed potatoes Thursday night and only ate half, and since then have zero appetite or appeal to heat it up. I can’t imagine swallowing the deer meat.
That says a lot. God created our bodies to eat, and when we can’t swallow or digest or desire normal food, it is a sign something is wrong.
Some signs of physical illness are extreme and clear–just like the extreme symptoms of spiritual illness. Yet apart from severe disease or infection, many times we “just don’t feel quite right” and have symptoms that are bothersome but on some continuum of general health (or unhealth).
The duration of symptoms seems to be important to note, with physical illness. At what point to see a doctor, or use some remedy or medicine (I seem to be responding to salt water gargle and an over-the-counter decongestant), is typically what we monitor when we are sick.
How does this all translate to our spiritual health?
My mind ruminates with a number of things in my own personal world. And sometimes, it might be easy to notice that someone “doesn’t look so well or healthy” and overlook our own need to notice our spiritual fever, wheezing and sneezing. Or worse.
While we can go days and months not closely examining ourselves for signs of physical illness (when things are functioning in a general typical way), the need for our spiritual examination must be daily…and constant. Not to the point of neuroticism and nit-picking, of course, but with a recognition that our spiritual baseline condition is one that gravitates toward spiritual illness and maladies of all sorts.
“I have come that they might have life, and have it abundantly.” – John 10:10
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