My Review of: “The Psychopath & The Sociopath: A Masterclass”- (video) by Dr Ramani Durvasula

From the time I remember my first psychology elective in middle school to more recent discussions with my therapist over how to distinguish various pathologies, I’ve always had a fascination with trying to understand patterns of human behavior, whether normal or abnormal.

Humor – especially the absurd or the dark – has always been one my best coping mechanisms with a variety of stressful things. I also love shows like Mr. Monk and I try to laugh at my own neurotic tendencies.

I remember one conversation with my therapist after she had known me quite awhile and was regularly helping me navigate my situations and my responses to my situations.

I said, “So tell it to me straight, I have ClusterF*** Disorder, don’t I?”

Cluster “F” disorder would be when you spend your entire life trying to avoid Cluster A, B and C’s and yet find yourself still entangled in impossible situations with impossible people! It can be a…ClusterF*** of sorts!

She laughed, as during that time period she was trying to help me understand various labels and distinctions found in the DSM manual. I sort of got it – the bottom line – but I tend to learn by hearing things a 2nd and 3rd or more time until it is more set into my brain.

I think we all can get insecure at times and obsess over “what is wrong with me!” It was always a relief when she would come back with the story of grad school, as the future psychologists were reading over descriptions of disorders they would sometimes look at eachother and say, “that sounds like me!”

She explained that everyone has tendencies and an amount of traits that could be viewed as both normal or abnormal, depending on many factors and to the degree.

It is good to think of things as a continuum.

I was always relieved when she would tell me that although I have certain traits, the underlying pattern and factors seemed to fall into the Complex PTSD category…with triggers going far back into my young years.

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Today I happened to find this talk by Dr Ramani Durvasula on YouTube. While it is lengthy – over two hours – I found it helpful enough to start making a few notes and thinking about writing this review/recommendation. I enjoy passing things along to others they might also find helpful.

In this interview, Dr. Ramani answers questions and explains the distinctions between a “Psychopath’ – a term not found in DSM but which is commonly used in a variety of ways from casual joking to trying to express serious traumatic encounters – and a “Sociopath.” In the course of her discussion, she elaborates by referring to Narcissm, Borderline Personality Disorder, Avoidant and Anti-Social personalities.
Now, it is not my job to explain these – because she is the expert and her talk was engaging and easy to follow. If you have interest in deeper discussion about what to recognize in people around us – from parents to children to spouses and in friendships and the workplace, I highly recommend setting aside some time to listen to this informative talk.
One thing she brings up often is the role of empathy in some of the Cluster B disorders. I think our society has drifted more and more from one where basic empathy is valued; and then, there are individuals we encounter in our lives that can wreak such destruction and lack basic empathy. She talks about empathy that is intellectual, and empathy that is heartfelt.

Among my notes, I perked up when she said, “I’ve had clients come in with boxes of stuff (meaning emails, texts, notes, etc)” and she found it “heart-breaking” because it revealed that they are not being believed by those around them. She says she gives room for different therapists to approach this differently – but her approach is, “I believe you. But if this helps you, by all means….”

She speaks of abusive situations in the workplace and bullies. She speaks of possibly “20% of corporate CEO’s” falling into the category of “psychopath” and the toxic workplace culture of back-stabbing, lying and deception and “throwing people under the bus” – basically an abusive workplace.

She speaks of why children cannot be diagnosed with Cluster B personality disorders until at least around age 20 or 21, because personality is still forming. She speaks jokingly of her own experiences as a mom with teenagers! And sadly, she speaks of the connection of various “conduct disorders” of children and teens and the connection to later diagnoses of Cluster B disorders as adults. She mentions violent video games and other issues that parents and teachers need to be aware of, and that early intervention brings the most optimal outcome.

She speaks of the Psychopath and Sociopath in marriage and how “these people are not made for long-term intimate relationships” and the need for spouses in abusive situations to have an “exit strategy.” She speaks of one of the usually defining qualities of a “Psychopath” – that of charm. She says that many can “keep a lid on it (just) long enough to get a ring.” She speaks of smear campaigns and horrific divorce situations involving custody of children and controling the legal system with their charm and deception.

She says that for some, lying or enacting other abusive behaviors without any remorse is like a “badge of honor” – they are impervious to the criticisms of others . They basically don’t care what others think of them.

She speaks of early trauma which leads to formation of view of self, world-view, personal choices and dysfunction. She speaks of the reasons that people who have grown up with trauma ignore red flags and are in denial when they entangle with those in the Cluster B category. The other person was always that way, they just chose to not see or to dismiss it in various ways as being okay.
By the end, she reminds us that we are not doomed to repeat cycles but through awareness, can make better choices.

And I would add, hopefully become a voice of empathy and help to others in their journeys.

Since you have read this far, I imagine you have interest in these subjects. So with that, here is the video. Please click the image to be re-directed to YouTube – and thanks for reading.

After the video, I will link some other resources that I have read or listened to that come to mind as being related to this subject.Other recommended resources: