Guest Writing: I See You, by Erin Lokken

I see you.

Yes, you.

No, you! The little child trying so hard to be perfect. Take a breath. It’s okay to not be perfect.

I know, I know, I know. Your parents keep telling you to strive for perfection. I also see them not telling you that nobody on this planet can be perfect. They didn’t tell you, so I am!

I see you trying so hard to be the peacemaker. That’s your role as eldest child. But stop! You cannot keep trying to keep the peace by sacrificing yourself to those that feel that you are blocking their wants. 50-50 is a good compromise. A compromise does not happen when you give up everything you want. Don’t become that enabler. You won’t be happy.

A relationship takes two people. Not one putting in all the effort and giving up needs for others wants while the other just takes. That’s abuse! Yes, even from a younger sibling. Yes, your parents can take some of the blame for it if they enable the inequality in that relationship. Release the guilt of not always dropping everything for other people.

You shouldn’t have to always be the leader of the relationship, especially with your parents. Even as an adult, you still have a child inside of you that they should want to lead by example for. If their example is making you feel like you have to parent them, that is abusive too.

Oh, angel. It’s okay to cry. It does not mean you’re a baby leaking tears. Go ahead and cry on my shoulder. Release all that pent up pain. Pain that no one wanted to hear. Pain that no one wanted to heal. I know it’s hard because you’ve been taught crying is for babies and the weak. But let me tell you: it takes strength to expose the pain.

You are strong.

You are POWERFUL!

I see you.

Child, I see you and want to hug you tight.

You are Me.