Does God Want Our Empathy?

From the onset of this expression, I want to make it clear that these are simply my own pondering thoughts this morning. While anyone can likely make some case for something, somehow, from Scripture, I hope that I will not attempt to do that. (I hope). But likely, I will attempt to, possibly in my very next paragraphs…

Because it is all subject to many understandings and in particular, some might press the point of theological integrity (by integrity, I mean, a reasonable and educated analysis of the texts) or exegesis, which, for the moment, considering the topic…I feel like throwing all this out the window and just saying, that possibly…we are dealing with an EMOTIONAL GOD.

And now, as I begin this, I will also violate what I just said I would not! Not that I’m trying to prove anything here, but as I struggled to not find some Scriptures in my mental reservoir which I might weave into my thoughts here (which likely, I will in fact, eventually do…) a verse popped into my mind.

Does God WANT our EMPATHY?

I don’t know. What does He want? Why does He tell us His thoughts and feelings, if He does not want OUR EMPATHY? (Keep in mind, all that we are is created in His image and comes from Him…so, if we tell others things about our inner worlds, do we hope for empathy?)

Surely, He certainly doesn’t NEED our empathy. I think there is a lot of mystery in this world and universe we have found ourselves in, and at least for this writing, I am going to run with the idea that we may in fact be dealing with a highly emotional GOD, Creator of heaven, earth, all things…and…us.

And here is the prooftext that just popped into my mind! :

“If I were hungry, I wouldn’t tell you,

because I own the world and everything in it.”

Psalm 50:12 (CEV)

A superficial read of this as though it were spoken from human lips might lead to an understanding of some emotional being that is in the throes of emotional pain and denial…who is saying, essentially, “whatever I may need…even food…you would be the last person on earth I would make myself vulnerable to by telling…and in fact, I am entirely self-sufficient.”

So before I proceed, first, this is in fact, the truth about God, our Creator. We need Him but He certainly doesn’t need us. This fact in my mind is without dispute.

Yet, here is the theological rub, as one might say. I have heard understandings of the Genesis creation account that describe the Holy Trinity as having all they needed within their own tri-fold relationship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, yet wanting to create humankind for potential reciprocity of some differing, free-will nature. (I just tried to summarize this thinking into my own words, and perhaps I did not quite capture it…)

Of course, this opens up all kinds of contemplative spaces for free-will, evil and the nature thereof, God’s sovereignty…and much more.

But for the moment, here, what I really want to talk about are thoughts going through my mind this morning about waste, the emotionality of God (which logically might explain why we are such emotional creatures) and whether various biblical stories and expressions in God’s Word to us were formed with the intent that we might empathize with God Himself?

Is that possible?

Again, God does not need our empathy nor anything else…but…does He want it? Does He want us to know or imagine how He feels and thinks about things?

I do think I could make a small and tenuous case for this!

Actually, what led me to ponder this was a series of my own thoughts and feelings this morning about waste and some biblical stories and parables seemingly about waste, lavishness and much more, wherein I wondered, “Is it acceptable to begin to identify somewhat with the God-figure in these stories? Or would that somehow be a wrong way to interact with the biblical texts?”

I mean…just like the book of Job…anyone in their right mind needs to acknowledge from the onset before identifying with Job that they fail to meet Job’s descriptive criteria described in Chapter 1 in every way.

We are not blameness, we are not consistently above reproach (as Job was) and we fall short of this Old Testament figure and story from the get-go.

So logically, why then is it given to us?

What should be our appropriate take-aways from Job? Or, from some of the parables, for that matter…(of course we easily identify with the wrongdoers in these parables to varying degrees, but is there also some amount of space to empathize with God, too?)

It would be easy for us to conclude, after reading the book of Job, “Well, this proves that things can always be worse! We should not complain or acknowledge our pains and troubles because…at least we don’t have it as bad as poor Job.”

That would be, in my mind, a deeply superficial read of this arguably deeply rich Old Testament expression.

Forty-two chapters and somewheres around 19168 words (but hey…who is counting…and how…which translation and more importantly, are the numbering of the verses included in the word count!???) with the takeaway that Job lost everything for no good reason, never stopped smiling and in the end, God replaced all his dead children, and much more…in my mind…seems to “doeth violence” to the texts!

Ha. “To do violence to the texts” is a phrase that just entered my mind from some theological book I read years ago on a topic, and the writer, from another century, seemed to use this antiquated term quite often…and I vaguely recall in the past year reading some other commentary elsewhere on something using the same term and then gathering it may have been a style things from that time period, regarding biblical commentary.

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This piece seems a bit hard for me to form. I think I will simply put a number of my thoughts out and let the reader connect whatever dots they might connect or take away for their own contemplations.

I think this morning of the story of the unclean woman who came to Jesus and broke open a container of highly expensive perfume onto the head of Jesus and washed His feet with her tears. The onlookers spoke words of disapproval at what appeared to be an immense and costly waste of monetary resources.

I think of Jesus saying the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.

I think of the parable of the wedding banquet, where a lavish feast is prepared, and no one will come.

I think of Jesus telling us of His Father’s mansion and how he has prepared places for us – places some of us refuse to live and move and have our being in, either now or in the eternal future.

As I thought of these things and images from my own small world here, trying to think how and what my focus should be on yet another day where I am literally watching the fruits of my hand and wallet – costly, costly labors and more – wither and waste for reasons that seem to fall on deaf ears in terms of articulation of need and further, willingness to pay others in order to put a stop to the immense waste that is happening here…without any seeming timely responses…it leaves me wondering if it is okay to identify to some degree with God, in some of these biblical stories?

And that, of course, leads me to wonder about whether God wants our empathy. Because, if I identify with God to some degree (I am not saying I am like God in ways beyond the fact that we are all created in His image) in some of Jesus’ parables (for example…the harvest is great the workers are few…) it would seem I am offering my Creator empathy.

And, does He want that from me?

I think also of a conversation this week where a friend brought up the Scripture in the story of the flood where God expresses sorrow that He made humankind. What does this even mean? Why would God tell us such things – including the voluminous expressions found in the various Old Testament prophets where He seems to be pouring out His emotions in a sometimes hard-to-understand way (even a contradictory way, at times) that might lead us to think that God is a pretty emotional Being.

Which, might also lead us to at least for a moment, try to empathize with Him?

When someone pours out their thoughts and emotions, to what purpose is it?

Sympathy? Does God want our sympathy?

Or, empathy? Does God want our empathy?

What is the difference between sympathy and empathy?

I won’t say here, because, there may be a fine line between the two. Surely, any reader further interested can Google the definition just as well as me.

In my ruminations today, I think also of the time period between my two marriages, where at one point I read a book called The Seven Levels of Intimacy. I think of my thoughts during that time which I expressed to a few friends and in my own journals in various ways: I still have a lot of love to give.

In my ruminations today, and in particular about the current situation with my produce stand this season which was so successful it is now wasted, for reasons beyond articulation in this particular writing (things went off the rails when my alternator died on July 31 and like some weird domino effect I cannot seem to communicate well…on the tail end of other thwarting difficulties here) …I think of telling a friend years ago about someone being displeased that I was growing tomatoes and zuchinni and cooking and freezing so much for use in the winter. I think of explaining that growing garden produce and cooking/storing it did a lot of personally positive things for me, one of these being a way to connect with the good memories and times with my father from childhood years. I think of explaining how I was told (incorrectly) that there was not enough freezer space to hold all of it, and how cheap one could buy a jar of spaghetti sauce for...ninety-seven cents to be exact, as my memory recalls…

And then, I think of this friend’s response at that time: What if you just wanted to grow these vegetables, pick and process them simply because it made you feel good? What if you were to do all this and then just take a big pot of cooked and seasoned tomatoes, onions and zuchinni and go outside and dump it on the ground and you said along the lines of, ‘it makes me feel good and I am worth this.’ What would be the response to THAT?

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In a sense, isn’t this what some of these biblical stories involve? The lavish and seeming wastefulness of God Himself with His own resources? Why does God do all He does? Because it makes him feel good and He, being entirely self-contained and worth it???

I think of all the cooking I do here…simply because I spent the bulk of my life as a wife, mother and homemaker, in addition to a businesswoman, and more.

I think of how I’ve thought about being essentially still wired as that, and how perhaps I might view Jesus as my Husband and my Best Friend during this life season which likely will be the remainder of my days…

I think of how I cook and bake, and grow things, barely having time to eat it all and now, even pick it to sell, with much ending up as lavishing prepared foods for farm animals…chickens. Who eat it and then produce eggs, which I then sell, use or give away…

I think of an insensitive comment made to me on social media after my first of three goats suddenly died in November of 2020 (the other two died in April 2021). Amidst empathetic comments by others, this person decided it was a good time to write, “Why do you have goats anyway? What do they give you? They aren’t like chickens that give you eggs.” (paraphrased)

At that time, I removed this person as a social media friend. They rarely or never commented on anything I shared, nor even put some emoji. (ha ha…I sound like the elder brother here perhaps…you never even gave me a goat…but I don’t mean it this way!)

I thought a lot about this comment and judgement from afar. It would be like, possibly, telling a poor family who had suffered a miscarriage of a tenth child when they could barely care for nine…“um…why did you get pregnant again, anyway? what would a tenth child have given to you?…” I always try to come up with some equivalent analogy when something someone says to me strikes me as personally hurtful…and I’m trying to articulate just why.

Even if it is/was true that my goats did nothing for me, only cost me money, was that the time to coldly point this fact out to me? I think it takes a lot of non-empathy to say something like THAT, embedded in the typical string of social media comments of “I am so sorry for your loss.”

Oh, LOSS. Don’t get me started on that topic.

I suppose...if I had had a dog and spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on the creature, whatever I might be getting from this relationship might be considered valid, reasonable and otherwise judged as acceptable.

But, buying the seller’s three young goats and keeping them in their already-made home here, especially at my age, and caring for these creatures, learning from them, enjoying whatever amounts of nurturing, connection and more to me here in my ongoing exile of sorts…that is to be criticized.

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Perhaps it is wrong to see myself in this way, still. (I interjected a section above, and am now getting back to my point of identifying with/empathizing with God in biblical expressions). Almost like empathizing with God concerning the unreciprocation of humankind and furthermore, the rejection and literally piercing wounding He receives, continually and collectively, instead.

I think also of a scene in a movie, which I will not link since it is a dark, romantic comedy and this one scene is so good but I want to lift it out of context. Therefore, naming the movie itself is not necessary. It is a scene where the one person finds themselves amazed that the other had never stopped loving them, and when they discover this, the other person says it is because (paraphrased) it was never about them (the object of their love) but it was about (essentially) the person who never stopped loving. It was about who they were. (one who keeps loving…in a sense…like God does with us)

While this zany comedy is just that, I find that part so relatable on so many different levels, including my own understandings to God Himself who always loves, always bears all things, hopes all things and endures all things, for our sake.

Doesn’t it say that Jesus is a High Priest that can sympathize with our weaknesses because He also has endured and been tempted with the same? Why is the word translated sympathize rather than empathize?

I do not know.

We are told that when we suffer, we grow and learn in ways that we can empathize with others and give them the same comfort that we ourselves have received from God. (I Corinthians 1:3-5, paraphrased by me)

In Isaiah 53, the sufferings of Jesus are described in more detail. To what end is this? To some cold, intellectual take-away? To some facts about God? Or, to some relational purpose possibly even eliciting our empathy for God Himself?

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Lastly, this morning, I was remembering a good podcast talk I heard awhile back.

It is from an 11-part series he did awhile back with the strange title of “Jesus H Christ.” So that potential listeners are not put off by the title or his references…I will summarize in Part 11 where he explains his puzzlement growing up why (some) others would pick – of all names – the name of Jesus Christ to use as a swear word. And then, the additional musing with a friend where Rob is remembering that some take it a level further saying “Jesus H Christ” – this may be a mid-western thing(?) as I’ve never heard this before the talk. And together, he and his friend wondered…at the additional bizarre twist on this…what does the H stand for? And apparently…after Googling…he and his friend still don’t know! (spoiler alert to Episode 11)

While this speaker (Rob Bell) is subject to amounts of theological controversies, and I would not begin here to state where my own understandings align and depart from his, I will say that he is an excellent speaker and can form and explore ideas quite well, pulling from common human experiences, Scripture and other references, and with a motivational aspect to his talks I have found to be quite helpful.

So with that, I link here this talk about WASTE.

This is so, so good to re-listen to today. Well-worth getting past his routine intros of upcoming events to the talk itself.

Paraphrase of one part: “Essentially what Jesus is saying here…her sacrifice…the cost…makes is sacred…it’s actually the excess, the over-the-top-ness of her gesture…that makes it something else…if the whole place stinks like perfume…well…that’s just how these things go…”

As I think even recently on foods I prepared that get dumped on the ground when expected visitors do not show up…to the sacred spaces I continue to rebuild here…to what purpose or end I do not fully know…I take all of this in…

And as I try to focus on what I can do today, knowing it will not be enough to offset the immense sense of wastings continually before my eyes, this helps me to have a sense of understanding and purpose, I suppose.

Perhaps my purpose in this moment, is in fact, to create a variety of lavish wastes. I do believe that if we sow sparingly we reap sparingly. I do believe in the lavish generosity of our Creator and dwelling within the bountiful, plenteous spaces.

“Efficiency…success…outcomes…may not be God’s goal for your life…the intention and the effort are divine…look what she’s done…it’s a sacred act…doing what she did has other value other than profit and efficiency…pragmatism isn’t always divine…they (the disciples) aren’t getting non-violent generous love…it’s just not happening…it’s a different kind of kingdom…” (paraphrase of part of Rob Bell’s talk below, on waste, around thirty-three minutes in…but…please don’t start there…it is all worth the entirety of his expression…to listen in context…“You give yourself to something…and it doesn’t go the way you thought…and you wonder…” – more paraphrase from my memory of this as I re-listen -)

Perhaps, I can re-think my experiences here…and the cost of them…at least in this particular season…in a way that helps me survive this day.

That’s quite a thought to take in…

Shalom.