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Writings
Portfolio
Books by Eileen Slifer, Artist
My Etsy Store
My Patreon
About the Artist
Contact
Subscribe

Humor

Tag

I’m Being Supervised by a CAT – and He’s Forcing Me to Think Dystopian Thoughts!

August 13, 2022
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Personal Writings, Short Stories/Creative Writing, Writings

True Story! This afternoon I tried to reach Verizon. First, by using a number I taped awhile back to my computer, with reminder to just keep hitting “O.” In recent years, this number doesn’t work right. I Googled “Verizon customer service number.” Got it. Called 3 different times. First round, I kept hitting “O” and refusing to comply with the hedgehogs. I think I did get to choose something reasonable, but I must have hit the wrong prompt and got...

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By eileenslifer
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thanks, BILL GATES…it’s all your fault i haven’t yet posted my puppy pictures.

July 24, 2022
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Personal Writings, Short Stories/Creative Writing, Writings

MY 95 THESES REASONS THAT… it’s all your fault, BILL GATES…that I had to (#1) spend hours on this Saturday doing all you forced me to do! it’s all your fault, BILL GATES…that I had to (#2) closely examine cords on my old machine and pull out the desk. it’s all your fault, BILL GATES…that I had to (#3) interrupt enjoying the Facebook posts of friends. it’s all your fault, BILL GATES…that I had to (#4) crawl on the floor...

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By eileenslifer
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Creative Solitude, Processes and Writing Challenges

May 27, 2022
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Illustrated Short Stories, Life Stories, Personal Writings, Short Stories/Creative Writing, Women's, Family, and Recovery Issues, Writings

(written 12/17/21 to 5/27/22) There’s an old film with Tom Hanks called Castaway. In the film, he is a lost sole survivor from a plane crash who finds himself alone for a lengthy time on an uninhabited island. Since this film only has a few actors other than Tom Hanks himself, I wonder whether the budget was as significant as other films in which he starred as the main character. In this story, to keep himself engaged, he is resourceful...

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By eileenslifer
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Awkward Smalltalk with Thomas, Richard, Harold, and His Brother, Frank, and Her Marriages to George, and John

May 27, 2022
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Illustrated Short Stories, Writings

By Jane Jones Written December 17, 2021 to January 24, 2022 Beginning her writing career at age nine, Jane presented her mother with some Haiku-ish type of assignment containing intentional literary form and meter, upon returning from school one afternoon. LIFE WhAT IS LIFE? LIFE IS TO STUDY, TO WORK, TO PLAY, LIFE IS TO BE YELLED AT, AND HATED BY OTHERS. LIFE IS toRture. BY JANE JONES Jane’s mother read the poem aloud over and over, with various inflections...

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By eileenslifer
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Vincent and the Instagram Influencer

April 29, 2022
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Illustrated Short Stories, Short Stories/Creative Writing, Writings

(a creative illustrated short story written 3/30/22 to 4/27/22) © Eileen Slifer, 2022 Dear Theo: You are never going to believe this but last night I was visited by someone from the future. She came from New York City in the Americas and she was dressed in such a fashion as to appear so ghastly and oddly cloaked, I thought she might be a phantom of some sort, so to be sure, I downed me some good absinthe before talking...

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By eileenslifer
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Sacrilege, Anthropomorphism and Theological Musings

March 13, 2022
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Beautiful Song and Poetry Lyrics, Personal Writings, Religion, Politics and Current Events, Writings

So. This is the piece I am choosing to bring to completion today. I started it on December 20, 2021. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. Friday night and yesterday, I made time to work on some blog pieces, as some reward for surviving, yet, hitting some glitches, the piece I was focused on cannot yet be completed. It will now need to wait until I can invest the time needed to do it properly. Oh, and as I...

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By eileenslifer
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69min 50sec of Pleasant, Calm, Meaningful Conversation with “Comcast-Xfinity Angelo” – Plus Chats with Robots/Internet Lingo-Acronyms/WIP’s

February 24, 2022
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Covid Pandemic Issues, Information and Ethics, Personal Writings, Religion, Politics and Current Events, Short Stories/Creative Writing, Women's, Family, and Recovery Issues, Writings

Life can be an adventure, if you keep your eyes open. This is just too good! After taking a ride on some Conniption Train yesterday for most of my mind-boggling conscious day with some complicated issue over Google and Verizon Clouds, issues with Apple TV, too…and more….I decided I was up for another round, so-to-speak, late this afternoon. I mean, it’s an absolutely beautiful (but windy) day here in the mid-sixties, and as I dealt with some laundry and got...

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By eileenslifer
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“God-Winks” and The Thirteen Pairs of Cat Socks

February 7, 2022
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Personal Writings, Writings

Awhile back I was telling some little story to a friend and she said it was a “God-wink.” I liked that thought and it has stuck with me. Winks are small, quick and very personal signs of affection or secret-sharing. I seem to find at least one personal “God-wink” on most days…and some days might be filled with quite a few. But maybe I’m just looking for them, I don’t know… I did think there was a funny one that...

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By eileenslifer
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Quitting Marlboros Cold Turkey

January 27, 2022
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Illustrated Short Stories, Life Stories, Personal Writings, Short Stories/Creative Writing, Writings

This is a test…a quick writing challenge to see if I can spin off some truly quick blog piece with a few of my thoughts upon waking this morning almost as quickly as I can spin off a Facebook post. Ha. For some reason, Facebook musings come without the same intentional writing process…they seem…less permanent, perhaps…and less involved…than a blog piece. I’ve been writing more, and recently have had some deep encouragement from an old friend, a woman I knew...

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By eileenslifer
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And You Thought Your Drunk Uncle Was Bad!

November 26, 2021
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Adventures of Chrissy G. JUSTCHRISSYTHATSALL!, Writings

She’s back! Chrissy G. Justchrissythatsall. I mean…I just stepped outside for a minute and she crashed the Thanksgiving party through the back door! There she sat, banging the table with fork in hand, chanting, “I WANT TURKEY. I WANT TURKEY. I WANT TURKEY.” Two of my guests, Crouble and Marley, were so scared they hid under the table! At least Chrissy was dressed nicely, and sporting lovely Mardi Gras beads. However another guest soon discovered she had taken his special...

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By eileenslifer
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Eileen Slifer

I am a visual artist who works in a variety of mediums - producing fine art, illustration and design commissions/products for clients. I have been creating since childhood and sharing my giftings for hire since 1989. I also love to write and have been expressing in this way for a number of years in private poems, stories and journals that have been shared with treasured friends or publicly. Thank you for visiting my blog. I value the time and interest you spend on my expressions, and I read every comment.

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