Every once in awhile when I am caricature drawing
(that is, drawing five-minute cartoons of people for between $100 to $150 per hour…) someone will ask me:
Did you go to school for that?
While there are no stupid questions –
and I believe that because I often ask stupid questions simply because I just don’t know about something! –
I do confess this one secretly brings me some amusement.
Because.
Well.
I have a Bachelor of Science degree in a subject I never studied.
Which I suppose would make it…well…a degree in BS?!!
Ha.
“How does this happen,” you ask?
Well, let me tell you.
As I’ve been trying to finish up eyes, noses and fur on two Labradors I’ve been painting on for weeks and weeks…and now find myself needing to finish them by tomorrow to get payment to pay another bill due tomorrow…ha ha…I am lost in beautiful colors…beautiful music…and other ruminations.
The ironic thing I find about the question of “whether I went to school” to learn how to draw cartoons of people (now, after doing it for over twenty-five years, up to the skill of potentially drawing one face every five minutes and consistently achieving somewhat of a likeness) amuses, perplexes and otherwise provokes existential artsy thoughts…because I am always left contemplating how I can spend incalculable hours doing what I love the most – creating fine art keepsakes that will be cherished, while sometimes in my pajamas in the privacy of my home/studio – yet not be able to charge anywhere close to over $100 per hour, like I can get for “performance art…of sorts” which in many ways is what live caricature gigs are – entertainment, moreso than ART.
The cartoon caricature portraits are dirty…quick…DONE.
People are at parties.
They either shriek with delight when I’m more “spot on” or
quietly smile and nod when I’m “not quite there….”
There are no emails back and forth, no tweaking…no worries other than to be rested and prepared, emotionally and mentally, to draw people, live, with watchers…
I show up.
I set up, well in advance.
When my time starts, I draw, and I make sure I cut my line off in time to stand up when the two to three hours are finished, close my easel and smile at anyone else wondering if I can just squeeze one more in…
I’ve even found myself telling white lies which is not my forte, not at all…but it’s part of the caricature business. The skill of cutting off and stifling a generous flow of art and the joy of pleasing through my art, so that I can earn what might be considered a living wage for what I am capable of, artistically, becomes needed. By this I mean, some people think even a caricature artist might be wealthy, if they can be paid this amount per hour. What some may not fully perceive is that these gigs have many hidden costs of first, obtaining them, and secondly, travel time and other considerations. If all-in-all I net $25 per hour when it is all-said-and-done (and how do I know? how do I know how many promotional hours expended five years ago led to a job I get in tomorrow?) then I am probably closer to making a living wage, especially now that once again I find myself a single, divorced woman.
Actually, the last half hour of the gig, depending on the situation, involves yet another non-art skill…assessing feasibility and best method of cutting off a line and, depending upon the situation, pleasantly asking the next person in my chair to wait a moment, while I take a piece of paper, estimate how many I can yet do, create numbers, shred each one and get up, walk to line and hand them out. And then, sometimes, ask the last person to please turn anyone else away that comes, telling them that the “line is closed,” and wondering, as I resume drawing, if I can depend on this random person to do this. In high stress situations, and sometimes these happen, generally at events where I may be drawing with other artists, I then must also keep an eye out while continuing to draw. Again, these are skills beyond art skills. And the most difficult examples of these situations are proms, wedding receptions and large company picnics. A household birthday party generally involves me knowing how many guests and being booked sufficient hours to accommodate all.
“I’m really sorry but my time is up
and I have another gig to go to…”
is a standard used by these performance artists.
It is just part of the art of performing “the gig.”
In fact, agents and others expect their artists to have this skill,
because the kind-hearted, generous performerthat stays a half hour past their booked time
to please every last person in line actually undermines
the price-value this professional service commands
in the entertainment market.
That would be…“the gig” of hauling myself and my stuff to my hippie van…setting my GPS and making it home within usually, about a two hour or less distance. And then decompressing for a couple of hours often into the early a.m. hours in front of TV.
Because I am really wound up.
I’m not by nature an extrovert…but I do love the periodic gigs and I am fully capable of turning on extroversion.
It’s part of the gig, and it is another facet of my personality.
It’s part of the art of drawing cartoons of people every five minutes at some stranger-child’s special birthday or some prom or black-tie Christmas party.
And that is, partly…why I laugh inside at the question…
did I go to school for THAT.
“So what DID I go to college for,” you ask?!
Ha.
Well, before I got my BS, I got my MRS degree.
Yeah yeah yeah…not as great as the PHD (someone once reminded me that she had one of these…and to “believe her…it was overrated….PILED HIGH AND DEEP…she quipped…”
But you want to know
“how did I get a BS in a subject I never studied.”
I imagine you are sitting on the edge of your seat
for THIS one… Right?!
Maybe you are wondering…can I get one of them BS degrees, too?
I think I’d like one in ROCKET SCIENCE.
Or PSYCHOLOGY.
Or….or….or…hmmmm…..ART.
~written December 4, 2021 to March 23, 2022
~I’m thinking this will need a Part II, which may (or may not) be titled, “Skill Sets of Feral Housewives.”
~Stay tuned?!~
I do enjoy doing live caricatures, really, and especially,
the Studio or “Gift” Caricature, done at home and
more elaborate and keepsake quality.
But artistically, I desire to do so much more.
Today, I thought about this blog piece I startedon December 4 of last year,
and decided to finish it,because I am working on some paintings.
They are going to be titled, “Violence.”
I have personal use and desire for these, and I will probably offerthem for sale…for what I believe they would be worth to
someone who really wants them, and wants to support the arts,
artists and what we may have to say
during a time of deep distress in our world.
Not because of any actual time spent on them nor materials,
not because a similar print might be found online or in Walmart,
but because…I have myself a BS.
I have myself a BS in something that hasserved me well over the years.
This “BS” somehow involved two years of art/art education…
…and then, an attempted concentration in Spanish, a college summer missions trip to Mexico City for two months, a significant amount of psychology, Scripture study and bible-study-co-leading, history, sociology, child development and social work classes…oh…and let’s not forget the infamous “Fabric Forms” class that the Dean of the College of Human Resources seemed to think sounded an awful lot to her like a “Home Ec-Sewing” class and did a little switcharoo of requirements, with the fine result of now qualifying for a BS rather than a BA, with an unspoken “wink wink”...
“you are getting married in two months…right…you can always come back when you know what you want to do…”
(yeah and it was all fun and games til a week after myJune 1, 1985 wedding I got my grades from the UD,
and learned that I had somehow failed Consumer Economics
even though I still remember to this day what the professor
told us that we should never ever forget from the class:
“never buy a whole life insurance policy”–
that’s another story so don’t ask, not that you would! –
and somehow, I just needed three more credits…of…ANYTHING…which turned out to be a
Basic Watercolor class taken at night, two years after my
wedding, thus achieving my U of D Nirvana Condition!
(Ha. Sarcasm…just another service I offer…)…and then…add in two revoked MRS degrees…
(but retaining the skills….“Skill Sets of Feral Housewives” will get written…eventually!)
…and of course…there were
my high school experiences…
…copy editor of “this and that”…and…more…
Hmmm.Another artist once told me that “people do not buy art because it is cheap, they buy art because they want it.”
He said, “it doesn’t matter how much you clearance your work down to, if they don’t want it, they won’t buy it.”
I suppose I’m about to venture into some water testing…
Music is very important to me on a daily basis and also to accompany creative flows…for anyone interested, this is my song of choice on loop, so far, this day…I love this song!
WHEREFORE ART THOU, JANE?
A hound bays in the distant dark, a whippoorwill takes flight
Jane is on another lark, passing through the night
Like a fox that flees her cage, just because she can
Like a lady come of age, a woman with a plan
CHORUS
She comes and goes like summer rain
As flighty as a whooping crane
As restless as a weather vane
Wherefore Art Thou, Jane?
Going up or going down, going fast and far
Up a hill or through a town, or to a distant star
She’ll cut the string and take her fling, or sit and watch the sky
Or turn her hand to any thing, or kiss it all goodbye
CHORUS
She takes the ball and breaks the chain
Pours precaution down the drain
Bubbles over like champagne
Wherefore Art Thou, Jane?
In the land of midnight peril, on the shore of anywhere
That dreams fly free and feral, you will find Jane there
You might not find the words that rhyme, to make a perfect song
But if you find the time sometime, Jane might sing along
CHORUS
She comes and goes like summer rain
As flighty as a whooping crane
As restless as a weather vane
Wherefore Art Thou, Jane?
CHORUS
She’s fickle as financial gain
Sells trouble like an ad campaign
Takes the risk and risks the pain
Wherefore Art Thou, Jane?
Another hound bays in the night, and someone wonders why
Did a prowler come in sight, or did Jane just pass by?
Like a fox that’s free of cage, like a Peter Pan
Like a lady come of age, a woman with a plan
CHORUS
She takes the ball and breaks the chain
Pours precaution down the drain
Bubbles over like champagne
Wherefore Art Thou, Jane?
CHORUS
She’s sweet and good and true and sane
Simple as a daisy chain
Sweeter still while raising cane
Wherefore Art Thou, Jane?
music and lyrics by Mary James & Jean James
_____________________
“Instead, make yourselves beautiful on the inside, in your hearts, with the enduring quality of a gentle, peaceful spirit. This type of beauty is very precious in God’s eyes.” ~ I Peter 3:4 CEB
Thank You For Reading
Please Feel Free To Express Your Thoughts Below
