“Have You Ever Put a Worm on a Hook?”

Tonight, in my almost nightly conversation with my former Alabama neighbor “Dear Hellen” (aka Miss Hellen!), we went from topic to topic as we often do.

She tells me about her day and I decide what to tell her about mine…tonight…she mentioned the new neighbors now have ten chickens that free range and go in and out of the coop I built. That makes me do a happy dance! For many reasons.

I wish I could write funny stories about “conversations with Hellen.” She makes me laugh! Just today, I was cleaning off little notes in my studio where I had jotted a possible title, and another thing she said to me. I realized I will never in a million years recall enough of the conversation to create a little funny writing.

The one note said something about “It’s a ‘motel’ for old people…” and the other note just said, “Good night, doll!” (I jotted that because it was a different expression to me that Hellen used when she signed off that night. I think it was a couple months back and we had enjoyed a particularly good conversation. She is so full of stories, and she was so loved by her 2nd husband…she needs to tell me the stories…)

Eventually, tonight, she was talking about something that led to something that led her to saying, “Well, we aren’t eating worms YET…” (surely some news story…) and I must confess my mind was beginning to wander since we’d been on the phone awhile so I don’t recall precisely what came before…

And then she added, “You know how that is…have you ever put a worm on a hook?”

And I paused and replied, suddenly thoughtfully, “No, I haven’t. I’ve never been fishing before.”

Next she was telling me about her late husband, Art, who was such an avid fisherman, and all the wonderful times they had together on his boats. How she would play with the fish, or just sit and read a book, and how he loved her company.

But Hellen’s question brought up a recollection that I might not ever have thought about again…concerning fishing. And I told her about that, too. I share this recollection not because I’m in some sudden moment of pain or sadness…but rather…I feel it deserves a moment of honoring here, for whatever it is worth.

I told Hellen that right before my father died (it was May of 1979, and I was almost sixteen) I had been begging my father to take me fishing sometime. I believe I may have wanted to go hunting with him at some point and he told me that was not possible…but may have said…“Maybe I’ll take you fishing sometime.”

I vaguely recall I was looking for commitment! Likely around the time of his death, I was probably asking, “WHEN….when can we ACTUALLY go fishing?”

Actually, I don’t think my father went fishing, that I recall. (But he definitely hunted.) I had the sense that it was a “someday” thing he would try to arrange, somehow, for me. Getting away from the situation with my mother was always difficult. I think he was quite depressed, plus, he probably assumed she would make an issue about it. Everything normal seemed to be some issue…some thing that was “unsafe” somehow or that no one had time (or permission from her) to do.

I recall now, specifically, that it was one of the things in my mind when he died.

I recall now that it was not just a passing thought, but that I clearly grieved that a fishing trip with him would not ever happen. I must wonder if it was a topic of conversation, specifically, around that time in the weeks of March or April… Especially since he had finally retired the year before.

It is a blessing to converse with others–and especially those we hold dear, where we have regular and relaxed conversation. I often am doing my dishes or in and out of my chicken coop or doing things in the evenings when I call Hellen…and tonight I’m grateful for the free association in the conversation that reminded me of this memory.

The important part is not that I never went fishing with him. The important part is remembering that he intended to take me and to provide for my desire to spend time with him doing something I perceived meaningful.

I’m also reminded of a fun tee shirt design I did years ago for a contest with a “fishing” theme.

It’s a little funny, and I’ve sold a few of these as cards on Etsy before