We often hear phrases like, “Be a man.”
But I don’t think we as often hear, “Be a woman.”
Or especially…keep becoming a man…or keep becoming a woman. This carries with it the idea of ever-evolving, transforming and growing into all that it means to be a man or to be a woman. And I find this very relatable.
When we hear something like, “Be a man about this…or that…,” we seem to mostly understand what that means or implies. At least in my view, it means to exercise some loving strength, and to carry the weights of those dependent upon you.
One question might be, who is speaking to a man to ‘be a man’ about something? And, who might speak to a woman about the same? The factor of a man speaking to another man and a woman to another woman, is worthy of some contemplation.
If we heard something like, “Be a woman about this…or that…,” what might we think that means?
How do we learn to be a woman (or a man)…and what is the ‘becoming’ part for each?
Biologically, the becoming of a woman seems to be a much more complex and ongoing, lifelong process. When a young girl enters the stage of menstruation, the accompanying changes bring a gradual maturation and development seemingly at first, aimed at the goal of being capable of bearing children.
At some points in her lifetime, she may physically bear children. I say physically, to honor those women I have known that were unable to physically bear, for some reason, yet have spiritually birthed and nurtured others, to bring to completion that which I believe is one of the inherent things about womanhood.
At some point, the woman’s physical body begins to gradually shut down this miraculous ability to physically bear new life. I cannot speak for the man’s experiences per se because I am not a man, but it seems to me that for many women, the post-menopause time physically shuts down that aspect of being female but the full womanhood continues to ripen, if you will, as she ages and continues becoming more and more of a well-seasoned woman.
For the man, he becomes capable of physically fathering in youth and this process continues to function and operate, for the most part, in capability, even in to old age. I believe equally, that the process of continuing to become a well-seasoned man continues into old age, of course, I am simply focusing here upon my experiences as a woman, since that is what I am and can only speak of men from my external views.
The woman’s physical process during child-bearing years is not one of status quo, once and done, but needs a monthly cycle of system maintenance, and, as the cycles continue from year into year, the nature of these change, physically, as well.
So while we may joke at times, “That woman is really ‘high maintenance’,” there seems to be some actual biologically basis for such complexities and ongoing needs, as she blossoms and grows and those around her both observe and participate in that process in various ways.
So much could be said about Womanhood
and the age-old figure of Mother:
Mother Earth
God as our Mother
Mother Nature
But for both men and women, what is most important is the hidden person of the heart.
Both men and women engage in a process of becoming that which they are and were created to be, that is lifelong. I just think there truly is a difference in each. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus as the title of this classic book indicates – someday maybe I can find time to listen to that on Audible!
How do women learn to be women and men to be men?
It’s not rocket science.
Women primarily learn from their mother, and men learn from their father. In situations, such as mine, where I did not have a good bond and model of womanhood in my mother, I literally learned from observing other older women during my lifetime, and to a degree, from my experiences with males – observing what is desired, expected, needed and much more, in the process of the ying-yang. Twice divorced now, this leaves me with a number of gaping questions and experiential observations and opinions.
So does a son also learn from a mother how to be a man, and a woman from her father, as well? I do believe so. There is a needful role played by both males and females in our lives and each of us are complex beings created in God’s image. In Genesis it says that God made them male and female.
Over the weekend I came across two things I want to string together here, somehow…and perhaps the holding adhesive will be from Scripture. I think it has to do with the idea of being clothed or covered, and in particular, this piece was begun about two weeks ago inspired by a new album one of my favorite musical artists in recent times just released, called Portrait of a Woman by Mean Mary James.
As I listened to this new release a couple weekends ago, I began to form these thoughts and in particular, am enthralled first by one particular song/video on this album called Cranberry Gown. It is just so relatable to me, as a woman, and my hope is that others take away some joy and self-esteem/self-worth work that seeps out from this piece!
There are some other really good pieces on her new release as well, but for the moment, sharing and focusing on this one particular work!
Enjoy…
Thank you, ‘Mean Mary’…I was working in my kitchen and went out to my pantry for something and found myself spontaneously dancing to my listening of this piece! You inspire many women deeply…and I decided in a moment to position my camera and re-create and deepen that experience I had!
Proverbs 31: 25-31
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Here is another version that include lyrics:
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