Their Life Wasn’t Supposed to be This Way

Back in October I wrote a piece called MY LIFE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY . Today, thoughts led me to write this companion piece.

I often notice people in public and while we do not want to judge by outward appearances, I cannot help but notice things about people that might indicate that they’ve lived a hard life. And, that perhaps their life did not turn out the way they may have hoped for, and imagined, when younger.

Now I could be wrong – in some cases perhaps what might appear to me as a sign of life’s hard living and disappointments, illness, poverty and premature aging – could simply be indications of things the person does not hold nor feel any sense of regret of outcome involving loss. Outward appearances can be deceiving, toward either end of the spectrum.

All humans are acquainted with sufferings, yet some lives do seem to take twists and turns which present ongoing challenges to our writing ourselves (along with God, in my view) a better life story. And, for all of us, our stories are yet unfully written.

If we look around us everywhere we can notice people who appear lonely or in poor health or some other distress and surely if we look at the current images coming from the Ukraine we can say this is not the way that lives are supposed to go. None of this is “okay” in either the temporal or ultimate, eternal sense, in my opinion. The breaking of Shalom in this world in the myriad of ways it happens is heartbreaking, both for the individual and collectively.

Jesus knew that we struggle with all kinds of fear and gave us comfort through speaking to us about birds.

There is a line in a song I like that says “No one knows if the sparrow sleeps on its housetop late at night. No one knows if the sparrow weeps when nothing’s going right” – this is from a song called Sparrow Alone. I also wrote two other pieces about birds in the past year:

• SPARROW SONGS
• CONSIDERING THE BIRDS IN ONE THOUSAND WORDS

If we assemble these lyrical thoughts alongside the words of Jesus, we can hear the clear message that yes, indeed, God knows not only if the sparrow sleeps and weeps, but where the sparrows nest and even when and how a sparrow falls to the ground. Meaning, no matter how small and how powerless in this universe we may imagine ourselves to be, at various times and moments of life, we do not go unnoticed to the Eye of Our Creator.

 “What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin?

But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground

without your Father knowing it.

 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.

So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God

than a whole flock of sparrows.“

~ Matthew 10:29-32 (NLT)

In some cultures, seeing certain signs in nature have come to hold certain meanings. I find this interesting since many times I assume these meanings are attached through oral tradition and culturally – possibly by shared similar human experiences perceived of as some type of spiritual or divine sign.

While I don’t take every thing noticed in nature as having some additional personal meaning or message apart from the messages continually pouring forth and inherent in the enchanting beauty of the creation itself – sometimes I do notice things in nature occurring alongside other situations or internal personal thoughts – where the timing seems significant enough to draw my attention.

Today, while working outside, I discovered the fallen bird pictured in this piece. (as best I can tell, probably some type of Sparrow)

It was out near my mailbox and I was intrigued that when it had fallen, it had seemingly been clutching on to a branch with its feet. I looked up above and was puzzled since there are only phone wires and no trees I would consider close enough to have caused this, perplexed how such a bird might land in this exact position. We did have high winds in the last several days. On the other hand, perhaps it was some strange coincidence than when it hit the ground, a stick-brand was propelled right into its wrapped feet. (I’m trying to avoid using the word “claws,” as I don’t think of sparrows have having claws, as I might think of an eagle or other bird of prey having claws…talons I believe is the term….OK…Google…

Ah…yes…talons on the carnivorous, predatory birds…can we just say sparrows have feet with little toes, please?

I did carefully pick it up by the tip of its tail and move it into the grass. To see it from the top. I’m not sure this resting place was any better for it than leaving it on the gravel, but, I did that.

For some this image may be too visceral and shocking. But for me, it made me feel that there was a reason I saw this bird today and I needed to write something about it here.

There are so many Scriptures about birds – and so many songs and poems I love that involve birds.

But also, one of the news videos I watched this morning included a comment by a civilian being interviewed in Kazakhstan,

who said, “We never expected this type of violence.”

I paused at that statement because I think time and time again we humans have this idea in our minds.

Some events of violence we may truly never see it coming. I think of a situation involving my former optometrist in Delaware from many years back. I remember the office visit where for the first time ever I had my eyes dilated to screen for glaucoma. I really have trouble with some types of things, and I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes open long enough for him to get the drops in. I remember he joked that I had “strong eyelids!”

He managed, eventually, to get me to look away long enough to get them in. To this day, I can’t put drops in my eyes, but I have dry eye and sleep with artificial tears by my pillow. I simply squirt them onto the center points of my closed eyes if I should awake with that dry feeling and then open and shut my eyes several times til the recommended couple drops are felt doing their soothing work.

During that office visit, I recall conversing about my stress and recent (first) divorce related issues, and he told me he was also going through a divorce, and sympathized. My impression was nothing but a gentle, kind and caring person.

While still in Delaware around 2007, possibly not long after my eye exam (I cannot recall, it may have been 2005-ish)…I learned of this doctor’s kidnapping of his children and taking them to South America. Later, when I had relocated to Alabama, I was shocked to somehow read/learn of horrible murders this doctor was involved in, post-divorce related, that ended in a string of trauma and violences. I literally never saw that coming, and I imagine many others also did not. I supposed we will never know what causes someone to apparently snap, and I imagine there may have been hidden things in him and his family life that may have given clue that he would respond in this way. Perhaps it was even what prompted the divorce. We do not know.

On the other hand, I recently read a heart-breaking story last week, wondering how those involved didn’t see this as a potential outcome.

Can we really say we never saw these violences coming?

Did some not believe nor pay attention to why a person might have a restraining order against them? Did someone think it unnecessary to check for weapons or ask for police assistance on a supervised visit under this scenario?

Surely, their lives were not supposed to be this way.

Moving on to the Ukraine, or any War, can we really say we never saw these violences coming?

Why wouldn’t we expect or believe to see violence in this world and in large and small situations?

Violence(s) begin with words …differences in thoughts… differences in interests and investments and values… posturing… and a string of small insidious moments along the trajectory that leads to full-blown violences.

In my view, War is the ultimate and indiscriminating violence in this world, and the failure of diplomacy and efforts (or non-efforts) to advert.

I suppose I like to use the term violence(s) rather than violence. Is there ever just a singular act of Violence, in War, or in other situations?

Since in some ways, there can be both clear instances of violence in some situation, and there can also be ongoing forms of what I might call micro-violences.

Between nations (and peoples), perhaps the micro-violence is one of repeatedly referring to those of that nation as categorically this or categorically that.

In a relationship, perhaps the micro-violence could be some comment with a hidden, embedded reference that to others, flies ever so skillfully below the radar as being some form of verbal violence.

Certainly, history always illuminates us, retrospectively, of the small and large events leading us toward the pathway of War.

It’s a lot. It’s all a lot to think about.

Also included in my thoughts today are how quickly humans tend to take sides in violences or advocate for certain things that will lead to further violences. Perhaps some violences are unavoidable, ultimately, but the idea that violence can end violence is known to be problematic.

In the least, I do not think we should form, promote and advocate for actions that will result in violence if we are unable and unwilling to look at the faces of death squarely for what they are.

I must wonder if there may be some who wince at looking at this dead sparrow, but might advocate without as much of a flinch some action which unnecessarily ends a human life, without any further thought.